


JWP 2019 #24: Old Tropes Are The Best Tropes

by methylviolet10b



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crossover, M/M, Prompt Fic, Silly, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 10:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/methylviolet10b/pseuds/methylviolet10b
Summary: Lestrade and Watson, sitting in a bar and discussing July. Written for JWP 2019 #24.





	JWP 2019 #24: Old Tropes Are The Best Tropes

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Oh good grief, is there any warning that doesn't apply here? Let's see... Silly. Outrageously absurd. References lots of things I've written for JWP 2019 so far, so spoilers in a weird sort of way. Breaking the fourth wall. Meta. Drive-bys of other tropes without a by-your-leave. References other authors' works and creations. Did I mention completely ridiculous? And written in a complete rush. You have been warned.
> 
> Prompt: Old Tropes Are The Best Tropes: Use or be inspired by one or more classic tropes in your work today. Examples of classic tropes include: they had to share a room and there was only one bed; it was a dark and stormy night; the doctor needing doctoring; ugly duckling turns into a swan; and so on. If you use one not in the examples, be sure to tell us what it is! I chose breaking the fourth wall.

“Watson!” Lestrade hurried over to the weary-looking man entering the pub. “Good heavens, man. You look as if you could use a pint.”

“At least one,” Watson agreed, sitting down at one of the pub tables with a grimace.

“I never thought to see you here of all places. Especially not tonight. Isn’t it…” Lestrade broke off and looked around carefully for any listeners. He lowered his voice before continuing in a near-whisper: “… **July**?”

Watson groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“Strewth.” Lestrade took a deep draught of his beer. “I’m amazed Mr Holmes has let you outdoors, or out of his sight.”

“He wouldn’t if he could help it, but he thinks he has a line on a good hiding place for me in some obscure county or other.” Watson gratefully took a sip from his own glass.

Lestrade leaned in closer. “So how has it been?”

“Hmph.” Watson tilted his head, considering. “Not as bad as it might have been, if I’m honest. I’ve certainly had worse years. So far I’ve been blown up, outed, ignored, kidnapped, had various things to do at various crime scenes, suffered quite a bit after the War, had a brush or two with insanity - or maybe it was a very bizarre dream, it’s always hard to tell in July – been turned into a cat and a vampire, been exhausted, and generally run around. I’ve not been shot, poisoned, stabbed, drowned, been assaulted by annoying clients or children, or lost my memory. And I’ve not died yet.” He leaned closer to Lestrade. “I’ve certainly got it better than some of the other Watsons, I’m telling you. There’s one poor fellow who’s been snuffed out _every single day this month_ , with no signs of him living out a full day before August.”

“He’s been murdered every day?” Lestrade was aghast.

“Depends on how you look at it. Some of his deaths appeared accidental, but you know _someone_ had to be behind it.”

“Dear God. That poor man.”

“And there’s still another week of this to go,” Watson muttered before draining his glass dry.

Holmes entered the pub before Lestrade could order another round. “There you are, my dear fellow. Come, Watson, we must away.” He put his hands on his friend’s shoulders before turning to look directly outwards. “Hands off, ladies, he’s mine.”

Lestrade looked around, baffled, before returning his attention to the detective. “Is there anyplace safe for him, do you think? I’m not sure all of Scotland Yard could keep him from harm, not under these conditions.”

“I believe I’ve found just the spot. The environs are strange, I admit, and there’s a penguin – ”

“You’re sending me to Antarctica?”

“Of course not – you’d starve, or freeze, or both. No, this is a penguin that lives in a meadow with a bunch of children, a sometimes-shady lawyer, and a cat that really has to be seen to be believed. There’s a John there already, and he owes me a favor. I think that if you swapped places with him for a week, no one would ever know. Thank God you both have moustaches.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted July 24, 2019. The trope chosen was breaking the fourth wall. And yes, Holmes is planning on hiding Watson in Cutter John's place in Bloom County, so he might just be about to make Watson a paraplegic (how very July of him). Crossovers are tropes too!


End file.
